How to narrow down your guest list.

Who should score an invite to the big day? You are getting married! Your over the moon with excitement, But…you have to plan a wedding first.

How do you decide who gets — and doesn’t

First things first.

Creating a wedding guest list involves two people: you and your fiance.

Start writing down everybody you can think of that you might possibly want to invite.

Don’t worry, we’ll narrow this down in a bit.

Let's Start With...

1) The must haves. No exceptions. Begin with immediate families, parents, grandparents, and best friends who are definitely on the list. Next, add your closest relatives…the ones you really want to be there, as well as your dearest friends. Step one is over. That was easy, right? 2) The second draft aka the “B List” Consider cousins, uncles, and aunts. Also, your wider circle of friends and closest colleagues that you hang out with outside of work. 3) Third time’s a charm otherwise known as the “C List”

Usually this is reserved for old friends, family friends, and distant relatives you haven’t talked to in awhile. At this point, if your guest list has already exceeded the amount you have budgeted for or that your venue can hold, don’t rush to send this group a wedding invitation in your first trip to the post office. Keep them in your back pocket as a backup in case your A-listers can’t make it. Be prepared — this will happen. Who will make the final cut? After spending hours organizing the wedding guest list, it’s time to start eliminations and get those wedding invitations out the door! This task can be tricky because inevitably you’ll have to face the uncomfortable question at least once: “When will I get my invitation?” Don’t forget: it’s your wedding and you can invite whoever you want. Don’t feel bad about skipping your old friend who hasn’t spoken to you since junior high or your parent’s friends who volunteered for carpool once in the 4th grade.

How to Handle Uncomfortable Questions

If you’re caught off guard or find yourself in an uncomfortable situation, and need to come up with an answer on the fly, here’s some wedding guest list explanations to keep in your back pocket.

“Am I invited to your wedding?”

Small Wedding: Tell people you’re having a small, intimate wedding with close friends and family so you can focus on spending as much time with your new spouse during the wedding reception. This should make them feel more at ease as opposed to feeling left out.

Destination Wedding: Explain that because you’re having a long distance wedding, the venue doesn’t accommodate a large group of people and you’ve opted to have a small, intimate wedding.

Anything Else: Simply tell them “As I’m sure you know, weddings are expensive and we have a strict budget, and unfortunately that means we weren’t able to invite everybody that we would have liked.”

“Can I bring a plus one?”

Not all members of your wedding guest list will have a significant other.

Usually, these wedding guests don’t want to go to an event alone and will want to bring a wedding date to accompany them.

The social “norm” is that wedding guests who are married, engaged, living with their partner or in a long term relationship should get a plus one.

Also, anybody in the bridal party should get a plus one as well. (Still need help with picking your bridal party members?) Lucky for you, it’s your wedding so you and your fiance get to decide the wedding guest list “rules” together as a team.